i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
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IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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