Pappa wants mamma naked
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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