She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
