I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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