I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize