I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
