Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
