He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I wear drunk well.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
