Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
