think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
