The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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