DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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