As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
