I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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