if you like me you must not know who I am
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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