I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
