I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize
