somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
