pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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