Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
one two three fourrrrnication!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
