so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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