It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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