the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
