I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
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