Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
