his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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