Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
