he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
