i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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