i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
