She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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