no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize