Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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