when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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