i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
