Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
