i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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