Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it was like eating out sand paper
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize