She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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