I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
