idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
