Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
