Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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