He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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