My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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