who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
