did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
