Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
