I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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