is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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