I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
