My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
