16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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