I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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